Ep #335 8 Easy Ways to Think Like a Runner

Welcome to The Not Your Average Runner Podcast. If you’re a woman who has never felt athletic but you still dream about becoming a runner, you are in the right place. I’m Jill Angie, a certified running and life coach, and I teach women how to start running, feel confident, and change their lives. And now I want to help you.

Okay, so this week, I am speaking to anyone who doesn’t consider herself to be a real runner. And you would be amazed, because I know lots of people who have been running for years and they say, “Oh, but I’m not a real runner.” And these are people who have literally finished marathons, but they still have stories that they’re not legit.

In fact, I actually asked my free Facebook group, what are people’s thoughts about being a real runner? And I’m going to read you a sample of some of the responses.

So Amy said, “I can’t find the right accessories to help me. I’m still looking for a hydration pack that fits, and the elusive sports bra. Regular runners don’t have these problems. I can’t just go to a store and shop, I have to try online because there’s no sizes in the store. And sometimes the race is dismantled before I finish. There’s no one left at the finish line. I’m breathing exhaust fumes of the sweep vehicles for miles, but we still keep going.”

Kena says, “I feel I have to only be running to call it a run. If I’m needing to do intervals, then I feel I have to qualify my statement. Like I ran two miles using 30 second intervals, instead of just saying I ran two miles.” Carla says, “Well, I run slower than many people walk so I struggle with the idea of pace.”

Amanda says, “I feel too slow. I feel like even my feet are too fat to be runner’s feet because they’re wide. Or other stupid things like my boobs are too big, runners don’t have H size tits.” And side note, I have H sized tits and I’m a runner.

But anyway, she goes on to say, “When I schedule my run with my friends, I don’t even really schedule it as a run. I call it an adventurous gallivanting, which isn’t bad, but it’s not running. When do you stop saying you’re jogging and start saying you’re running? These things make me in secure. The most embarrassing thing was when I went running and my fitness pal recorded my pace as running in place. Like fuck, I’m so slow, I might as well be running in place.” I feel you Amanda.

Katie says, “I have run five half marathons, I run four days a week between two and 12 miles at a time and I still struggle. When people say oh, you’re a runner. My initial reaction is to say no. I don’t know why, but it’s there. Maybe pace, maybe because I’m heavier. I don’t really know why, but it’s there.” Again, I hear you, Katie.

And finally Marsha says, “I guess in my mind I equate run with fast or speedy. I have trouble saying, even to my husband, I’m going for a run. I’m really going out to walk and maybe jog a little. Or saying to somebody else I ran a 5K I feel like I’m giving them the wrong impression.”

Can you relate to any of what these women said? Because I definitely could. Maybe 10 years ago, I could definitely relate to this. And just as an aside, I want to give you a quote of what somebody said after going through the Rebel Runner Roadmap.

She said, “I have never felt athletic in my life. I’ve always been overweight, the one who would sit on the sidelines and cheer everyone else on. And now at age 56 I can call myself a runner. And I feel like my entire life has just changed because if I can do this, I can do anything.”

So in case you are on the fence thinking the roadmap is only for real runners, well guess what? The roadmap makes real runners, right? We will teach you to become a real runner in that class, guaranteed.

But back to our discussion, feeling like a runner really means you have the thought, I am a runner. Feeling, there’s no emotion of runner, right? There’s no feeling of runner. You have the thought, I’m a runner, and you feel confident, you feel certain. But feeling like a runner is really just another way of saying you believe you’re a runner.

And it has nothing to do with your speed, or your weight, or how far you run, or how often you run, or whether you take walk intervals. You get to feel like a runner as long as you’re thinking I’m a runner. It is literally that simple. But of course, the challenge is how do you get to that point, especially if you don’t believe it right now?

Well, that’s a very good question, my friend. What I’ve done is I’ve compiled a list of eight thought patterns for you today that almost everyone who identifies as a runner thinks. And if you think like a runner, you’re going to act like a runner. And eventually your identity will become that of a runner.

So what exactly is an identity? Well, the way I define it, and I did not look it up on the Googles this time. I’m just going to give you my definition, and it’s simply that an identity is a collection of beliefs that you have about yourself. They are the thoughts that you think over and over and over about yourself.

And for most of us, our identities start in childhood with the things that we were taught to think about ourselves. People hand you so many beliefs when you’re little, right? They’re just like, “Here, take all these shitty beliefs. They’re all yours.”

So when I was a kid, my parents were constantly telling me that I was smart. And you know what? I grew up believing I’m a smart person. And I find evidence for that all the time in my life. Now, my mom also frequently told me that I was a procrastinator. And guess what I also grew up believing and guess what I also have evidence for everywhere in my life, right? Yes, that I procrastinate.

So our identities are shaped by the people around us at first. But an identity isn’t really hard wired. It’s not genetic. And I think this is where most of us go sort of off track with thinking like, “Oh, well, I’m just a procrastinator, that’s who I am. I’m going to have to suffer with it for the rest of my life.” Procrastination isn’t a disease, it’s not a neurological deficiency. It’s a belief you have about yourself based on some actions that you’ve taken.

So an identity is that collection of beliefs that you’ve practiced for years, maybe it was something somebody else said a few times to you and you’re like, “Oh, all right, I’m just going to decide to believe that person and now I’m going to practice this belief.” It happens very subconsciously, but that’s how it works.

And it’s important to know that that’s how it works. Because if you believe your identity is set in stone, you’re sort of shit out of luck, right? Especially if the identity that you’re living with isn’t working for you. But if you are willing to believe that your identity can change if you start practicing thinking new things about yourself, then you look for evidence that those thoughts are accurate, and you can start shifting into a new identity.

And maybe that identity is someone who keeps promises to herself. Or someone who’s willing to do hard things to get what she wants. Whatever it is, okay? If you are willing to believe that your identity can change, the possibilities for you are endless.

Now, whatever it is, it will take some time to create, but it’s totally possible and it’s worth it. Your future identity, or in other words your future self, is something that you can create on purpose. You can decide who you want to be, and then practice thinking, feeling, and acting like that person.

Now, right now if you’re not currently running, your identity might be somebody, you might identify as somebody who can’t run. Or of somebody who thinks that she’s too fat, or running is too hard, or you’re too injured, whatever it is. Or maybe your circumstance is that you ran many years ago and you haven’t been running for 10 years and your identity is like, oh, I’m a quitter. I gave up on myself, I’ve lost too much fitness.

So if those are the thoughts that are leading you not to run, to take the action of not running, those are your identity. You identify as somebody who can’t be a runner. You identify as somebody who quit on running. If you’re a runner who’s maybe a little bit slower than the average or maybe you’re more plus size, then you might also think, well, I’m kind of a runner, but not a real runner, right? You’ve got some version of judging your circumstances and making it mean that you’re not a true runner.

So, whoever you believe you are, the identity that you have drives all of your actions. I mean, actually it drives your emotions and your emotion drives your actions. But basically, your identity is responsible for your behavior. And sometimes, again, we think that identity is hardwired, that it’s not something that we can change.

But if that were true, nobody would ever start running in their 30s, or 40s, or 50s, or even 60s, or 70s, right? I’ve worked with clients in their 70s that started running in their 70s and did amazing things with it. So, for sure, I didn’t even start to see myself as a runner until I was in my late 30s, even though I’d already been running for almost 10 years.

I mean, I did some running here and there, right? But I didn’t really shift my identity to believing I’m a runner and I’m an athlete until I was, I don’t know, like 42 years old. That’s when it really started to settle in. And interestingly enough, that is exactly when I started running consistently without a lot of struggle about it, without a lot of drama. It’s kind of fascinating how that works, isn’t it? Right? Once my identity was, oh, I’m a runner, it drove the behavior of consistent running.

So how do you think like a runner? Well, I’ve compiled a list of eight different thought patterns for you today that almost everyone who identifies as a runner thinks. And if you start practicing these thoughts, you are going to be amazed at how you start seeing yourself as a runner.

So how do runners think? Well, the first thing that they believe is that running is worth the effort. Now they know it’s hard, it’s uncomfortable, they still do it because it’s worth it. So a runner believes that running is worth the effort because they love the results. They don’t have a lot of drama in their head about it being difficult.

And even if they do sometimes, even if they’re like, “Oh, wow, this run was feeling really hard today,” it’s not like oh, shit, something’s wrong with me. It’s just like, oh, today’s run was harder than usual, okay.  So runners believe that the effort is always worth it. They’re willing to do the uncomfortable things to get that result of having finished a run and how it feels in their body and all of that.

And I think that’s where a lot of us go wrong, because they think, oh, running is really hard. It’s too much effort for me. It’s too hard for me. And that’s the difference between a runner and a non-runner. A runner is like, “It’s hard. So what?” That’s it, end of story. So that’s number one.

Number two, the second thing that runners think is they’re always willing to suck at it in the pursuit of getting better. Okay, they believe everyone starts somewhere and that improvement only comes with consistent effort and a willingness to make mistakes. And they know that a shitty run is still better than no run at all.

Because here’s the truth, there’s going to be good runs, there’s going to be bad runs. Some runs will feel easier, some runs will feel harder. Some you’ll feel like you’re flying, others you’ll feel like you’re trudging through peanut butter. A runner is willing to just have those shitty runs in the pursuit of getting better, in the pursuit of enjoying their sport.

And they don’t ever make it mean that anything is wrong with them, or that they’re not cut out to be a runner. They know that to improve they got to fail. So runners are willing to fail at stuff to get better. And I think a lot of us aren’t willing to do that. We’re like, well, if I can’t succeed, if I’m not great at it within the first week, then I don’t even want to bother.

And what we’re really saying is, this should be easier than it is. If I have to put in the effort, I’m not interested. And that’s all fine and good. If you’ve decided if I have to put in the effort on running, then I’m not interested, own it. Don’t sit around and say like, “Well, I wish I could start running, but it’s too hard.”

Those two things can’t exist in the same space. You’re either willing to embrace the failure and embrace the suck so that you can get better. Or you’re willing to say I don’t want to do that because I’m not interested in embracing the suck. It’s either or, okay?

A non-runner maybe will sit in the middle and just be like, but it’s so hard. It’s too hard for me. So stop that. Please stop that. Either be willing to suck at it or decide you’re not going to do it. Just pick one.

All right, number three, runners are proud of what they’ve accomplished, even if they are the very last to finish or even if they don’t finish. Even if they’re slower than every other runner they know, they take pride in running and getting out there and pushing themselves out of their comfort zone. They do not measure their success against anyone else, they measure it against themselves.

They know the real accomplishment is not finishing the race, but the person they need to evolve into, to train for the race. The finishing of the race is just the icing on the cake. So runners are proud of who they become as a result of running. They’re proud of the work they have to do to train. They’re proud of all of that process.

And they get to totally be proud of their finish lines as well, but the finish lines aren’t always the main thing for a runner. Because the finish line is just a moment. It’s the celebration of all the hard work that came before it. That’s what the finish line is.

Now, number four, runners hang out with other runners. They like to hang out with the other runners. They think, “Oh, I want to spend time with them.” Even if it’s just online. When you identify as a runner, you want to be around other runners because they get you. They get your crazy sport.

Somebody who really identifies as a runner doesn’t say, “Oh, I run but I’m slow.” Or, “I run, I do half marathons, but I do walk run.” There’s none of that bullshit with somebody who really identifies as a runner. They just show up and say, “Yep, I run half marathons.” There’s no qualifications. Yep, I run half marathons. Yep, I do 5K’s. Yep, I’m a runner.

And they don’t constantly talk about their pace in the context of, “I’m a runner, but I’m slow.” Or, “I’m a runner, but I’ll probably never run the pace I want to.” They don’t constantly talk about their pace in that way. Imagine you worked at a company, you were a manager at a company and somebody said, “Oh, what do you do for a living?” And you’re like, “Well, I’m a manager, but I don’t get paid very much.” You would never do that. You would never, ever say that.

So I want you to start thinking about your pace as your own kind of personal information, it’s nobody else’s business. And if you are going to share it, share it in the context of information rather than a judgment of yourself. You don’t need to qualify anything when you tell somebody you’re a runner.

You’re not misleading anyone when you say I’m a runner, if you do run walk. Because that’s none of their fucking business, honestly, right? Their opinion about you is none of your business. If you say you ran a half marathon, you ran a fucking half marathon. I don’t care if you had walk breaks in there or not, you were running.

And again, when you hang out with other runners, they actually will get you. So if you’re kind of like, I don’t know if I want to spend time with other runners, they’re all better than me. They’re faster than me. They’re going to judge me, they’re not going to think I’m a real runner. Please stop that right now. That’s not how runners roll.

And by the way, the Rebel Runner Roadmap crew, they really will get you. You will feel so seen and understood in that group. Oh my God. If you are a not so average runner, whether you’re plus size, or you’re on the slower side, or you’re a brand new beginner, the Rebel Runner Roadmap folks have got your back. They are your people.

There are no apologies in that group for being slow, for struggling, for coming in last. There’s nothing but cheers and virtual high fives. Very sincere cheers and virtual high fives because, this is number five, runners cheer other runners on.

All right, runners think nothing is more fun than cheering another runner on. They love to do this because they know how powerful it can be to get encouragement, especially when you are struggling. So runners are like, “Hey, I see another runner. Good job. You’re killing it. Woo-hoo!” We do that.

And when a runner hears somebody else cheering them on, they don’t make it mean anything shitty about them. They don’t say to themselves, like, “Oh, well, that person is obviously cheering me on because I’m fat or I’m slow or they feel sorry for me.” No, no, when somebody says, “Good job, you’re doing great.” They think oh, how awesome. That person just wished me a good run. Thank you. Awesome. You too.

We don’t make it mean anything about us when somebody says good job or keep it up or you’re doing great. We just say thanks and move on. And I know there are a lot of you out there that are like, “Well, every time somebody cheers me on in a race or when I’m running in my neighborhood, I get mad because they’re just making it worse. They should just keep their mouth shut. How rude.”

Actually, no, you are making it worse. Someone said words like, good job, you’re doing great. Just say thank you, or just wave, or fucking ignore them. But don’t make it mean that they’re being rude for cheering you on because you’re fat or because you’re slow. Don’t make it mean they feel sorry for you or that they’re patronizing you.

I mean, after all, you’re the one doing the running and doing the hard work. They’re just standing there. For fucks sake, own your badassery please. If somebody cheers you on, if somebody says like, “Damn, look at her go. She’s doing something awesome.” Let them. Let them have that moment of cheering you. Let them encourage you. It feels good to other people to encourage you. So let them have it.

You can ignore them, but you don’t have to get pissed about it because you’re the one who suffers when you’re mad. Person encouraging you just goes on their merry way and thinks, “Oh, I’m so good, I encouraged somebody today.” You telling all your friends about these rude spectators does nothing for the spectator and it just makes you feel worse, so stop. Okay? All right.

Number six, runners don’t expect running to be easy. My friends, they don’t feel entitled for it to be easy. They expect it to be hard. They don’t tell themselves the story like, “Oh my God, this is so hard. Why is it so hard?” They just don’t expect it to be easy. And they’re not confused when it feels difficult. They also don’t expect to be perfect. They know there’s good days, bad days, mediocre days. And that’s all just part of the experience.

Number seven, runners ask for help and feedback. Okay, they know that coaching isn’t just for the elites, that literally everyone can benefit from a more experienced person helping them improve. They don’t say to themselves like, “Oh, I should be able to figure this out on my own.” They’re like, “No, I don’t know what to do, I’m going to ask for help.”

They’re open to it, right? They recognize that there are people out there that may be able to look at what they’re doing and say, “Oh, you know what? Your shoes aren’t tied right, that’s why your feet keep going numb.” Or, “Yeah, I’m going to run behind you, I noticed your foot is turning in a little bit, like you’re a little bit pigeon toed on that side. Maybe you should work on your glute strength on that side to help externally rotate that foot. Maybe that would help with your knee problems.” Or, “Hey, I have the name of a great sports doctor, here it is.”

Runners ask for help and feedback from other runners, they’re not too proud for that. They get a coach, right? And it doesn’t necessarily mean they go out and they hire a super expensive coach, right? Maybe they just join a local running community, or a lot of running shoe stores have groups that go out and they could just ask the other runners there. Or, spoiler alert, they join programs like the Rebel Runner Roadmap where there are coaches and a community to help with all of those things.

And then finally, number eight, runners know that most of the time, and you guys, this is so important. I really should have led with this, this should have been number one. Runners know that most of the time they’re not going to feel like running. Just hear me on this. Most of the time runners don’t feel like running and a lot of new runners start out and they’re legit surprised when they think, “Well, I don’t know, I just don’t feel motivated anymore.” Yeah, none of us do.

Nobody wakes up and says, “Oh my God, I can’t wait to get out of bed and put on my tights and go outside and breathe hard and have my muscles get tired, and it’s dark and it’s cold. Like nobody says that. Most of the time, we all don’t feel like running, we do it anyway.

First of all, because we want to get better at running. Or because we said we would and we like to keep commitments to ourselves. Or because we know once we get started, it’s going to feel amazing and we’re going to have that joyful feeling at the end of our run.

So runners don’t really rely on motivation to get them going. I mean, motivation is awesome when you can create it for yourself. And I would say if I waited to go running until I was motivated, I’d go probably five times a year.

And on those days, it’s really funny, the days that I wake up motivated to run I think, “Oh my god, I can’t wait to get out there. It’s just going to be so awesome.” Those usually turn out to be my worst runs because I have all these high expectations and then it’s just another run and I’m mad because, I don’t know, I didn’t feel euphoria or whatever.

So the days that I’m motivated to run, I’m usually disappointed. It’s the days where I’m like, “I don’t feel like doing this.” When I’m not in the mood and I go anyway, my run is almost always better than I expected because I’m not expecting anything. Because I said I was going to go, so I’m going to go. And runners don’t rely on motivation to get them moving, they just get up and they go because they said they would because they are runners and that’s what runners do.

So, if you didn’t notice, none of those eight things that I talked about had anything to do with you having to go a certain speed, or a certain distance, or have a certain body type, or never, ever take walk breaks, right? None of that has anything to do with how you run, and everything to do with how you think about yourself.

All right, your speed, your body weight, whether you run walk or not, none of that is a qualification for being a runner. And that’s awesome news for you because it means you can literally just start thinking like a runner right now. You don’t have to have this belief that like, “Oh, I’m only a runner if I can do an eight minute mile.” You’re a runner if you run. Running is a way of moving your body, it is not a speed. Okay?

And also, I want to ask you, if you began to identify as a runner, how do you think that would impact the way you show up for your workouts? Or the way you talk to yourself? If you believed you were a runner would you show up differently for your runs? Would you talk to yourself differently?

And I want to give you a little bit of homework this week, I want you to create your own runner identity. Write a paragraph about yourself as a runner, like how you want to show up for yourself, what you’ll be thinking and feeling, what you’ll be doing.

And it might even help if you want to imagine describing somebody else that you know who’s a runner and what do you think she thinks and feels and does that makes her identify as a runner? If you can’t quite get there yourself, look at somebody else and say, “Okay, I wonder what she thinks about herself as a runner.”

So you could start there, sort of adapt it to be your own runner identity.
And actually, if you do this, I would love for you to share it in the Not Your Average Runner Facebook group, or even better, join the Rebel Runner Roadmap and share it there. Let’s hear what your runner identity is. Because I think it is super important to create it for yourself on purpose, and then practice it and watch how it shifts how you show up for your workouts.

Oh, and one last thing, if you enjoyed listening to this episode you have to check out my Running Start plan. It’s a 30 day online program that will teach you exactly how to start running, stick with it, and become the runner you’ve always wanted to be. Head on over to notyouraveragerunner.com/startrunning to join. I’d love to be a part of your journey.