Ep #275: 3 No-Bullshit Steps to Finish 2022 Like a Boss

Welcome to The Not Your Average Runner Podcast. If you’ve never felt athletic but you still dream about becoming a runner, you are in the right place. I’m Jill Angie, your fat running coach. I help fat women over 40 to start running, feel confident, and change their lives. I have worked with thousands of women to help them achieve their running goals and now I want to help you.

Hey runners, so we’ve got about six weeks left in 2022 and this has been a motherfucker of a year, hasn’t it? I know I don’t need to tell you that. Now, I did an episode towards the end of 2020 about finishing your year like a boss. And it was pretty popular, so I thought it would be kind of fun to revisit that.

And I think most of us at this point in any year, when things haven’t gone as planned, we think oh, “I’ll just wait until January and then I will start over. And it will be amazing, and I will be perfect, and my life will be all rainbows and daisies.” Right? I know you have thought this before. But instead, I think what we’re going to do is just start right now. Okay?

Right now, today, we’re going to start establishing the routines that you think January is magically going to make it easier to do. So you’re going to start now, then come January you won’t have to go through all the drama of hoping that you keep your New Year’s resolutions because you just won’t even be making them, all right? How about that?

So who else thought 2022 was going to be their year? And then, I don’t know, by like March, right, the wheels are off the bus and now you feel like you’re just hanging on for dear life, right? I have definitely had my moments this year where I felt that way. But here’s the deal, when I spend a lot of time thinking to myself, “This year has been awful,” guess what? I feel awful, right? I feel pissed off, frustrated, overwhelmed. I feel very, very sorry for myself.

And self-pity is absolutely toxic. Self-pity is that poor me feeling, that “It’s so much harder for me. Nothing ever goes my way. People aren’t good to me,” right? That is self-pity. And that feeling can infiltrate your entire life. I mean, sure, there are things in life that are not fair, okay? Totally agree with that.

But shit happens and we either can accept it and deal with it, or we can wallow in it. And nobody likes a wallower. It’s fun to say wallower, but nobody likes an actual wallower. Because wallowers don’t get what they want out of life because they are too busy complaining and moaning about how unfair everything is to actually get some shit done.

I know that you don’t want to be that person who’s wallowing all the time. I know you don’t want that, it doesn’t feel good and you don’t get what you want. So today, I have three no-bullshit steps to help you finish 2022 like a boss without wallowing. Okay? Three no-bullshit steps.

There will be some tough love. There will be some very tough love. And it’s intended to help you not just survive the last six weeks of the year, but to actually make it your bitch, okay? You ready? Let’s go.

Number one, and I warned you there will be tough love today. Number one is stop whining. Please stop whining, and I really mean this. Stop saying this year has been a dumpster fire, okay? I get it. We all get it. A lot of crazy shit went down this year. Every fucking year is like that. Have you noticed this?

You can always look at every year and be like, “Oh my God, I can’t believe that happened, that’s so crazy, this year has been a dumpster fire.” You can always find those reasons. Whether it’s you getting injured, or getting Covid For the third time, or losing your job or whatever it is, okay? But you can also usually find some good stuff that happened too, all right?

And our brains are so wired to look for the bad stuff, sometimes we forget about the good stuff. That’s just how life works, okay? So please stop saying that this has been a dumpster fire year because the truth is, it’s not the things that happened this year that made it a dumpster fire, okay? You have made it a dumpster fire year for yourself with your thinking.

And I know that’s not a popular opinion. We always want to blame the external for how we feel. And yeah, there’s still a pandemic going on that may or may not have changed some circumstances in your life. I mean, it has actually changed the circumstances for pretty much everyone on the planet, okay? You’re not special, we’re all figuring it out.

And sure, maybe some people have had less impact to their lives than others, okay? But seriously, back in 2020, there were some folks where the only change to their daily lives was that they had to wear a mask in public and you would think their entire world fell apart.

And on the flip side I knew others, I know others who lost loved ones, who had to close their businesses, who have gotten sick themselves and it really took a toll on their health. And they’re like, “Well, yeah, you know, it’s Covid, it’s not what I chose.” And they have a totally different outlook, right? They’re like, “I’ll figure it out, I’ll get through it, it’s going to be fine.” So that’s how I know it’s not the circumstances of your life that is creating your feelings, your actions, and your results.

It is your thinking, okay? Because if the circumstances were what actually made this year a dumpster fire, then the people who lost their jobs and had to close their businesses would be like, “Oh my God, this is the worst year ever.” And the people who had to wear a mask in public will be like, “Oh, well, you know, it’s a little inconvenience, but it’s not that big of a deal.”

And that’s not how it went down, because we create the feelings and the thoughts, we create the feelings we have about the circumstances with our thoughts, right? It is your thinking. It is how you are choosing to think about the facts. And if you are thinking whiny thoughts, you are going to feel like shit and you’re going to blame everything else, okay?

It is not the pandemics fault, it is not the politician’s fault, it is not your boss’s fault, it’s not your sister’s fault, it’s not your husband’s fault that you’re unmotivated, or frustrated, or pissed off, or whatever. It is your own ass fault. So own that shit, okay? The sooner you stop complaining about it, the faster you’re going to move towards the life that you want, all right?

So that was step one. I told you there was going to be some tough love. We’ve got most of it out of the way, there’s a little more coming, we got most of it out of the way. So step one is to stop fucking whining and just own it, okay?

Step two is to begin right where you are now. And this applies especially if you have taken a break from running, or fitness, or scaled back. And I know when all my races were canceled in 2020, right, I was in the midst of training for a half marathon and getting ready to ramp up to train for the Philly marathon. Everything was canceled and I made a conscious decision to scale back my running and start going all in on my strength training instead.

And I’ll tell you, if I had to go out right now and run like more than three miles I would actually be sucking wind pretty bad because I’ve kept myself at the like two to three mile range for the past couple of years. It’s felt kind of good too, by the way, it’s been a nice break.

But three years ago at this time, roughly this time, I was actually able to go out and do a 20 mile training run, okay? There is no way I could do that today. And I could go on and on and on about how I’ve lost so much fitness and I just want to get back to where I used to be. But really, I have chosen to be in a different phase of fitness right now. I made that choice on purpose.

I can also deadlift almost 250 pounds right now, which is a different type of fitness, right? So yes, my running fitness has changed, my strength has also changed. It’s all been a choice, okay? So I want you to be really careful with your language and make sure it’s not passive.

So if you’ve took a break from running, or if you’ve scaled back, you’re running, instead of saying, “I got derailed,” right? Because when you say, “I got derailed,” that makes it seem like there was this invisible hand that reached into your life and held you back, right? When actually it was things that happened and you decided, whether consciously or subconsciously, to change your running and fitness routine. Instead of saying, “I got derailed,” say, “This is the choice that I made.” Okay? Be careful with your language and own it.

And you may have had plenty of excuses, right? You may have gotten injured. That’s one thing, right? But you may have just had some excuses. And you thought, “Yeah, I’m all in. I’m all in with those excuses.” You may have had great reasons and you may think they’re totally justifiable. And of course they are, right? That’s the thing, your reasons are your reasons. And if you believe they’re justifiable, they’re justifiable to you. It only matters what you think. If you believe they’re flimsy, again, it only matters to you.

But regardless, you had some reasons, you had a thought in your brain and thought this is why I’m not going to do this run, or this is why I’m going to change this up. And you were like, “Yes, I am on board with that,” and you followed through on it. But you are the one who made those decisions.

So even if you were injured and you needed to stop running for a bit, okay, that was actually a decision to not continue to cause damage to your body by running when you’re injured. All right? Your body did not derail you, you said, “That hurts, I’m going to stop and I’m going to take steps to fix it,” okay? So just own it, just own it.

It’s so much more empowering to look at things in your life as a decision that you have made, rather than something that’s been foisted upon you, okay? Because when you feel like everything is happening to you, you feel disempowered, it’s very hard to take action. When you feel like you have some control, when you think, “Okay, this happened, here’s what I’m going to do with it,” you feel empowered and you’re able to take much more proactive action. Okay?

And here’s the thing, all the decisions that you’ve been making have created the body and the fitness level that you have right at this moment. And you may be less fit now than you were six months ago. Those are circumstances, all right? Your fitness level now versus your fitness level in May of this year.

The key to succeeding for the next six weeks and into 2023 is to focus forward. So any comparison from where you are now to where you used to be is going to kind of block you from moving on. It’s going to keep you stuck where you are right now. And there’s a great quote that I love, “Don’t look back, you’re not going that way.” Okay? You’ve probably heard this quote before.

And it’s so true because if you think about when you’re riding a bike, or when you’re driving a car, if you are constantly looking in the rear view mirror, if you’re constantly turning your head and looking backwards, you’re going to crash and you’re going to get hurt, all right? When you’re riding a bike, I mean, even when you’re walking or running you have to be looking forward. You have to focus your eyes and attention on where you want to be or you are not going to get there, okay?

So step two is to really start by assessing where you are right now. And if you haven’t been running and you’re not currently injured, I want you to just go out for a test run. See what it feels like, all right? And there’s no judgment allowed. This is a data gathering activity only. No pushing yourself to exhaustion, okay? Just go out for a light effort run.

And if you can, if you have this capability, not everybody does, don’t even look at your watch or your phone for your stats until your run is over. Like set it up so you’re just going to go out, run your intervals, and your watch is going to tell you when it’s time to stop. Maybe 20 minutes in, 30 minutes in your watch is going to be like, “Okay, you’re done.” And you’re going to say, “Oh, now I get to look and see.”

So go out, do a test run without obsessing about your stats during the run. And then, for the love of God, after you’re done please don’t look at your data and then compare it to where you were six months ago, all right? It’s irrelevant. It really, really is. There’s no way you can go back in time and do anything differently.

You cannot change the actions that you’ve taken for the past six months. So let’s not rehash it and talk about like, “Oh my God, look how much fitness I’ve lost.” You can’t change that. But you can start today, right now from where you are in this moment and decide how you’re going to move forward, all right?

So you go out, assess where you are right now, okay, so that you know what your starting point is for moving forward. Not for comparing yourself backwards. And I know how tempting it is to self-criticize and compare yourself to others and yourself, and six months ago, five years ago, whatever, find yourself lacking.

But what did we just learn about wallowing? It does not help you. So you can always find reasons that you are not good enough if you look hard enough. Usually we don’t have to look very hard, okay. Your brain is good at this, this is how brains work.

So please don’t go looking for it, you’ve got to let it go. There is no upside to bemoaning where you used to be. There’s nothing good that’s going to come from that. And I know you think it’s motivational. You think, “Okay, well, if I just set the goal, to get back to where I was six months ago, that’s going to motivate me.”

I promise you that will not motivate you. It’s going to set you up to find all the ways you are failing, okay? And sure, it may get you out of bed a few times. But if you are constantly doing that comparison and looking backwards and beating yourself up for losing fitness, that is not a long-term motivational strategy. It is a long-term quitting strategy, okay? It’s going to keep you stuck and unable to move forward, okay?

And while we’re at it, let’s just stop using the term losing fitness, or backsliding, or losing ground or any of those things, because that’s just a way of comparing yourself to where you used to be. And you don’t do that anymore, all right? You don’t wallow, you don’t whine, you don’t complain about any of it. Please, don’t talk about your past accomplishments in the negative as in, “I wish I could be there again,” because you cannot time travel, right? You are not a time traveler.

If you want to talk about your past accomplishments, it’s more in a, “Wow, that was a super fun thing I did. And I’m so proud of myself” kind of way. I’m all in for that. But none of this, “Oh, I’ve fallen so far.” Please stop, okay?

Now, I also want you to stop saying things like if I could only get back to that 12 minute mile I used to do when I was 50 pounds later and 10 years younger. Okay? Because you’re not any of those things. You’re 50 pounds heavier and you’re 10 years older. So let’s own that shit, knock off the comparison and move forward.

And I’m serious about this, right? Notice when you talk to yourself that way. What you say to yourself matters, especially if you’re saying it in your head and you’re the only one hearing it and there’s nobody else to be like, “Hey, knock it off,” right? What you say to yourself matters, so stop talking to yourself that way. Please, I’m begging you.

And then one final comment before we move on to step three. Here’s another reason that some people might delay going out and doing a test run, because they’re thinking, “Oh, it’s going to be so hard.” Okay, if you haven’t been running for a while, yeah, it’s going to be hard. Like there’s no if, and, or but about it, it’s probably going to be hard. And that’s okay.

And I guarantee that there are a lot of you listening right now that are thinking that way. You’re like, “Oh God, I really need to go back to running, but I’ve lost so much fitness it’s going to be so hard to get back to where I used to be,” right? You have said this verbatim, I promise you. And then you think it’s going to be so hard, I’m just going to start tomorrow.

And every time you say that you delay one more day and one more day. Like really examine that thought process because delaying it one more day isn’t going to make it any easier. The longer you wait, the harder it’s going to be. So the best time to start is literally right now, okay? All right.

So we’re moving on to step three. We’ve done step one, which is stop whining. Step two is take an assessment of where you are now and wipe out comparisons to your six month ago self, your five year ago self, whatever, your 50 pounds ago self. No more comparisons.

And then step three is to set a goal. And I’m going to tell you exactly what goal to set. It’s going to be a 30 day goal. And I know I talk about setting big, audacious goals on this podcast a lot, and I love them. I love setting big goals, blowing my own mind when I achieve it. But for this experiment I want you to go small, okay?

And you’re like, “Why not just sign up for a half marathon? And that’ll motivate me.” No, no, no. If you’re in a place right now where you’re like, “My fitness is not where it was six months ago and I’m really mad at myself about it,” signing up for a big audacious goal is going to overwhelm you. Okay?

So instead, we’re going to do something small, all right? You’re going to focus on a 30 day goal, okay? And that 30 day goal is going to be to choose one habit and get really good at it, okay? You’re going to reinforce one habit. You’re going to prove to yourself that you can do one new thing for 30 days, that’s all. Okay?

So what habit should you pick? Well, that’s where there’s, you know, you’ve got some flexibility there. I’m going to give you some ideas because the 30 day goal is a lot less about what the end game is and more about giving yourself daily wins to re-establish your identity either as a runner, or somebody who exercises consistently, or like whatever it is that you choose, we’re reestablishing your identity.

And those daily wins are going to flood your brain with thoughts like, “Fuck yeah, I just nailed another day. Yay me.” Okay? So I want you to think about the habits that support your goals.

Maybe it’s daily stretching. Maybe it’s drinking your water every day. Maybe it’s writing in your journal. Maybe it’s foam rolling. Maybe it’s developing a morning routine. Maybe it’s going for a daily one mile walk or run, okay? And I don’t recommend seven daily runs a week. I recommend if you want to go move your body for a mile every day, that’s fine, some days it could be running, some days it could be walking.

But whatever those habits are, I want you to pick something that’s a daily habit, it’s going to be habitual, that you’re going to do routinely and that’s part of your self-care, all right? And then spend the next 30 days getting really fucking good at it, all right? Make it like your job to address all the thoughts that are going to get in your way, like creating thoughts that are going to drive the action of your habit, okay?

So you’re going to have thoughts like, I don’t need to drink all my water today, it doesn’t matter. I can drink extra tomorrow. Or you’re going to have a thought like I don’t need to write in my journal today, I’ll just wait until tomorrow. And that’s a thought you’re gonna have to weed out and replace with a thought like, I’m building my new routine, it’s important for me to adhere to my schedule so that I get used to keeping commitments to myself. Okay?

And make sure whatever habit you pick, that it’s a small habit, right? It’s not going to be like, I’m going to spend an hour writing in my journal every single day. It’s going to be like, five minutes writing in my journal, right? Or if it’s drinking your water every day maybe you’re like getting two to four glasses of water a day, you’re not going to be like, “I’m going to drink 10 glasses of water a day.” You’re like, “No, I’m going to routinely drink five glasses of water a day.” All right?

Make it a small thing that you’re pretty sure, no, not pretty sure, that you’re confident you can do every day for 30 days to re-establish that consistency, that belief in yourself, that trust in yourself. Okay? All right.

And here’s one more thing, perfectionists, I see you, I hear you, and I can feel you through the microphone. And you’re going to want to over complicate it by doing all the things. You’re going to say, “Well, if one habit is good then two is better. And if two is good, then four is better. And if four is good, I should probably just start now and implement 10 things that are going to make me an amazing runner.”

Please don’t do this. Don’t over complicate it, all right? I’m very serious about this, pick one, practice it for 30 days. Get really focused on becoming consistent with that habit. When you’ve got that 30 days under your belt, you can add another one for the next 30 days, okay?

If you’re starting now, by the time January 1st comes around you can be like, “All right 2023, let’s do this,” right? Because you’re already going to have consistency in place, so that you can really trust yourself to slay next year, okay? And I cannot wait to hear about your successes. I cannot wait.

Okay, so just to recap, three no-bullshit steps to finishing strong in 2022. Number one, stop whining. Number two, figure out where you are right now, stop comparing yourself to where you were six months ago. And number three, pick a 30 day habit. We’re going to pick one small self-care habit and work hard on establishing that one habit. And then you can add more at the end of the 30 days, okay?

All right my friends, I love you, stay safe. Get your ass out there and do something. Whether it’s running, or drinking your water, or writing in your journal, get your ass out there and do it and I will talk to you next week.

Real quick before you go, if you enjoyed this episode you have to check out Run Your Best Life. It’s my monthly coaching program where you will learn exactly how to start running, stick with it, and become the runner you have always wanted to be. Head on over to runyourbestlife.com to join. I would love to be a part of your journey.