Ep #173: Can You Half-Ass Your Way to Success?

How many times have you trained for a race and, as you crossed that finish line your first thought was, “I should have tried harder, I could have done more?” I know you’ve thought that and it is so hard to celebrate when you think that way.

Welcome to The Not Your Average Runner Podcast. If you’re a woman who has never felt athletic but you still dream about becoming a runner, you are in the right place. I’m Jill Angie, a certified running and life coach and I teach women how to start running, feel confident, and change their lives, and now I want to help you.

Hey, rebels. So, today, I want to talk about something that I have been noodling on for weeks, probably my whole life, but really intensely over the past several weeks. And I actually posted about it on Instagram and asked people if I should do a podcast on this concept. And the response was a resounding yes, so let’s go.

We are going to start with a story. So, my whole life, I would qualify myself as a half-asser. I rarely go all in on something. I procrastinate, I cut corners, I do the bare minimum to get by. And my mom told me this when I was in school. She didn’t use the words half-ass, of course. She was way too proper for that.

She said, “You’re not living up to your potential. You don’t try hard enough. You wait until the last minute to do everything and then you don’t do your best work. The problem is, you’re too smart and you can get good grades without trying right now, so you’re not learning how to work hard.”

And of course, I was a very rebellious teen and I would tell her to mind her own business. But I definitely took those words on board and I let them define me for pretty much my whole life. I have identified as a procrastinator, a slacker, a half-asser, pretty much since junior high school.

And I’ve let that identity drive everything. I mean, first of all, it would drive my actions because my mom actually wasn’t wrong about my behavior patterns. I really do tend to wait until the last minute, which means I’m usually just doing the bare minimum necessary to get by.

But I let the identity of being a procrastinator drive my thinking. And the reason I had that identity was because I thought so many times, “I’m a procrastinator…” it became my identity. And then all of my thinking was driven by that.

And I also made it mean that there was something wrong with me, that procrastinators are lazy, undisciplined. I made it mean that I was falling short, that I should be different. And when I was younger, I always felt like I was disappointing my mom by not being more like my over-achieving friends. Which, by the way, they were all unhappy as well.

They never thought they were good enough. They were constantly overworking to live up to some ridiculous standard. So, guess what, it’s not our actual achievements that make us proud. It is what we are thinking about our achievements that does it. And if you’re constantly thinking, “I’m not good enough, I didn’t try hard enough, I could have done better,” you are going to feel inadequate and continue to torture yourself.

So, basically, I was half-assing in high school and getting the same grades as my friends who were overachieving. And we were all fucking miserable. All of us. But I couldn’t see that in the moment. I couldn’t see that. And it has really taken almost 40 years of living out those same old thought patterns and feeling shitty about being a half-asser to realize I’ve actually been pretty successful in life despite my half-assing. Maybe that’ snot the problem.

Because here’s what’s really going on. Let’s say that the circumstance is that I have a podcast to plan and my thought is that I probably won’t do a very good job of planning it. It’s going to be a terrible episode. And what emotion do I feel when I think that thought? Usually shame in advance of something that hasn’t even happened.

And when I feel ashamed, what do I do? I avoid doing it. I procrastinate recording the episode and planning the episode. And the result is that I plan and record it at the very last minute. And guess what? Sometimes it’s not my best work because I’m rushing through it.

I literally create the result I’m afraid of because I’m thinking that’s what’s going to happen. And then I beat myself up for being a procrastinator when, of course, I procrastinate. Of course I do. I’m thinking I’m going to do a terrible job. Who on earth is like, “Oh, I’m going to do a shitty job on this, I can’t wait to get started?” Nobody.

But if you don’t recognize the thinking that drives you to half-ass something, you just believe you’re a lazy undisciplined mess who will never get anywhere.

So, side note, this is actually turning into a bit of a personal therapy session, isn’t it? I hope this is something you can actually relate to because I’m totally coaching myself right now.

But anyway, we think that the problem lies with the action of procrastinating. We think it lies with the A-line in our model when in reality, it starts way earlier up the chain with our thinking. Because you cannot change the action without changing your thoughts.

You might stop procrastinating for a little while. But if you’re still thinking the thoughts driving that action, you’re going to go right back to your habitual patterns. And guess what? Those thoughts, the ones like, “I’m going to do a terrible job on this.” Those thoughts that make you feel ashamed and that lead you to taking the action of procrastinating until the last minute, those thoughts are tied to the identity you have as a half-asser, and the belief you have that half-assery is a bad thing.

And therein lies the problem. Because what if you’re wrong? What if half-assing is not a bad thing? What if it’s a superpower? Isn’t that a mind-blower?

There’s so much rhetoric out there about how you have to drive hard to your goals, always pushing yourself to the next level, slaying, making shit happen that you have to be determined as fuck at all times, always going the extra mile. And if you’re not over-achieving, you’re failing.

Admit it. You see those types of posts on Instagram and you think, “I have got to do better. But again, what if you’re wrong? I’ve half-assed a lot of stuff in my life. And guess where it’s gotten me?

I own my own very successful business. I’ve helped thousands of women start running. I’ve written three books. I’ve recorded 172 and a half episodes of this podcast. I’ve finished a lot of races. I also have two Master’s degrees and I had an entire career before I even started running, or coaching runners.

So, yeah, I’ve actually been pretty successful in my life without, air quotes, being a hard worker. But since my mindset has always been, “You have to work hard to succeed,” I believed that my success doesn’t count because I, quote unquote half-assed my way there.

So, I have literally discounted my successes because I didn’t achieve them the way I thought I should or the way my mom thought I should. Now, for sure, I have half-assed some things and not gotten the result I wanted. I’ve given up on myself a lot of times. I have failed spectacularly many times.

But I had an epiphany the other day. And I’m just going to take a pause because y’all need to hear this sentence and take it to heart. Half-assing is progress. Half-assing still gets a result. Really think about that. Half-assing is still progress. And sometimes, you even get the same result with half-assing that you might have gotten with full-assing.

Here’s an old joke, but a true one. What do they call law students who graduated near the bottom of their class and took three times to pass their bar exam? They call them lawyers.

So, when you half-ass your way to get the result you want, what if that’s actually a smart way to do it? What if its efficient? What if it’s totally awesome? What if you’re wrong about having to be perfect and work your ass off? What if B-minus work that gets you the result you want is a really intelligent way to approach things?

So, really, all of this that I’ve been talking to you about just now has gotten me thinking about what is my definition of half-assing? What does it mean to me? Because I think there’s a fine line between half-assing and quitting, or a series of little quits. Because a lot of little quits adds up to a big quit. And if you don’t know what I mean by that, I want you to check out episode 20, How to Stop Quitting.

But I decided I needed a definition of half-assing that works for me because when you say something to somebody like, “Oh, I really half-assed that,” they can imagine a million different things. Some of them might think, “Oh you didn’t try as hard,” and some of them might think, “Oh, you totally abdicated.”

So, I came up with my own definition of half-assing that I think, especially in recent years, has worked well for me, even though I didn’t realize it was working well for me, it did. And so, what this is, is sort of an anti-perfectionism manifesto.

But believing that half-assing is okay and might even be your superpower, when you believe that, it makes it okay for you to not be perfect and keep going and, gasp, actually be proud of your results no matter how you got there.

And I think that’s the thing, right? When you believe it’s okay to not be perfect, and maybe be half perfect, and that the results you get from that process you can still be proud of it, even if you didn’t do it the way you supposedly should have, that’s powerful. That’s a gift.

So, here’s what my definition of half-assing includes. Having a plan, but not being perfect. So, I kind of think that you can create a plan and not be perfect and half-ass that plan and still get somewhere. If you walk into a situation, if you have a goal and you don’t even create a plan for it, it’s very unlikely that you are going to achieve it. So, my definition of half-assing is I’ve got a plan. I might not follow that plan perfectly, but I’ve got a plan. I’ve got a direction.

The second thing is half-assing means I’m showing up the best I can on any given day. Again, even if it’s not perfect. And so, maybe there are days where I minimum baseline that shit. And that’s the best I can do on that day, and that’s alright.

The third thing is not quitting on myself, even if my results are coming slower than I would like. Because we know, when we full-ass, often we get there faster. Not always. Working harder doesn’t necessarily mean working the smartest. But if I don’t beat myself up for not being perfect, I’m not going to quit on myself, right?

So, half-assing doesn’t mean that I quit on myself when I don’t get what I want. It means I keep going even if I’m getting the results slower than my desire. And half-assing also means knowing that full-assing is an option whenever I choose it.

It doesn’t mean I have to half-ass it. It doesn’t mean I say, “Alright, here’s my plan. But I’m going to half-ass it so I can only do 75% of my training runs.” No, I have the option to do them all. I just don’t beat myself up for it if I don’t, okay.

So, here’s what half-assing is not. And I think this is important. Half-assing is not saying, “Fuck it,” every time I’m feeling unmotivated. That’s quitting. Half-assing is not giving up just because something is difficult. Again, that’s quitting. Half-assing is not having a plan at all because, in my experience, not having a plan at all usually results in failure. And half-assing is not changing my goals just because I’m not there yet or just because I’m not achieving it in the time that I want.

So, half-assing is trying, doing the best you can, planning for success, and not beating yourself up. Half-assing is not saying, “Fuck it,” because you’re unmotivated, giving up because it’s hard, not even making a plan, or just saying, “Well, I’m not really getting what I want so I’m going to change my goals because I’m not there yet.”

So, that’s my definition. I encourage you to create your own definition. But here’s the thing; full-assing is always an option, you guys. Half-assing is not a requirement. I like to think of it as my superpower. But there are times when I decide I’m going to full-ass something and I go all in on it. three-quarter-assing is also an option. So is seven-eighths-assing. All the fractions of assing.

The problem, you guys, is never the level of effort you’re putting into achieving your goals, but what you make it mean about you. So, if you’re going halfway in, if you make it mean that you suck, you’re really going to struggle.

If you go halfway in and you make it mean, like, “Oh my god, look at how much I’m doing. This is so much more than zero,” you’re probably going to be pretty excited and keep going. Because I promise, if you beat yourself up for not doing 100% or 95% or whatever, you’re going to be miserable. So, even if you do achieve what you want, you’re going to struggle to enjoy it. And that is the key to all of this.

It’s not how you got there, but what you make it mean. How many times have you trained for a race and, as you crossed that finish line, your first thought was, “I should have tried harder, I could have done more?” I know you’ve thought that. And it is so hard to celebrate when you think that way. When you look at your achievement and find the flaws instead of finding the things that you’re proud of.

So, I want you to ask yourself right now, what would your life be like if you gave yourself permission to half-ass your way to success, if you gave yourself permission to celebrate things, even if you didn’t get there the way you thought you should?

I want you to think about it and let me know because I know there are some of you out there right now thinking half-assing is failure, half-assing is unacceptable. And that belief is kind of holding you back a little bit.

So, ask yourself, if you didn’t believe that half-assing makes you lazy and undisciplined or whatever it is you make it mean, if you didn’t believe that, if I could take an eraser and wipe it out of your brain, what would our life be like? And if you think your life would be like, “Oh, I would never achieve anything,” I think you’re wrong. I think you might achieve even more.

Okay, if you’re just starting out on your running journey, or if you used to be a runner and you’re listening to this podcast thinking, “Alright, I’m going to use this podcast to get myself remotivated,” I want to encourage you to sign up for my free 30-day running start training plan.

It is perfect for anyone who’s new to running, who’s coming back into it after some time off. It’s a gentle way to reintroduce running into your life. All you’ve got to do is go to notyouraveragerunner.com to sign up. If you know somebody who could use this plan, please make sure to tell them about it. It’s free and it’s basically 30 days to get you up and running.

Alright, my friends, I love you. Stay safe. Get your ass out there and run and I will talk to you next week.

Oh, and one last thing. If you enjoyed listening to this episode, you have to check out the Rebel Runner Roadmap. It’s a 30-day online program that will teach you exactly how to start running, stick with it, and become the runner you’ve always wanted to be. Head on over to rebelrunnerroadmap.com to join. I’d love to be a part of your journey.