Rebels, I’ve got so much goodness on the show for you today! I’m not only exploring a really good topic this week, but I’ve also got Suzy Rosenstein back on for a little segment to give us an update on her running journey. If you didn’t catch the first part of our conversation, make sure to check it out here!
So, getting heckled by those lovely people (sense the sarcasm dripping?) that yell at you while you’re on your run, or even comments from people you know who are “concerned about why you’re not losing any weight” is a pretty difficult situation to handle.
It’s something we’ve discussed on the podcast before, but it can’t hurt to dive a little deeper because I know someone’s going to need to hear it. It’s really an art that needs some fine-tuning to get right, and I’m boiling it down to three options you can choose from when it happens.
While I know you’re training like a true rebel runner, I’m here to make sure you manage your mind like a badass too. There’s going to be some tough love involved like always, but remember, a real rebel runner doesn’t let anyone get in her way.
Doubt is a dream killer. You can rise above failure, you can learn from it, you can use it to fuel you, but doubting yourself is super poisonous. Share on XLooking for something new to wear? Want to try a new trend but can’t find clothes you love in styles you love that also fit your budget? Get your box of absolute perfection from Stitch Fix! Uplevel your style game and get 25% off when you keep all five items in your box!
What You’ll Learn From this Episode:
- An update from Suzy Rosenstein on her running journey.
- A new tool I’ve been teaching my clients that helps silence your inner mean girl.
- How to mentally prepare yourself for hecklers.
- Why it hurts when a complete stranger says something derogatory.
- 3 ways to deal with hecklers.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
If you have any questions you’d like answered on the show, email me at podcast@notyouraveragerunner.com
- Join the Not Your Average Runner Private Facebook Community
- Join Run Your Best Life to get exclusive content from a podcast accessible just for members!
- Not Your Average Runner Instagram
- Ep #36: Getting Over Your Fears About Running with Suzy Rosenstein
- Suzy Rosenstein: Website | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
- Ep #33: How to Coach Yourself
- ThinkUp app
Full Episode Transcript:
Welcome to The Not Your Average Runner Podcast. If you’re a woman who is midlife and plus sized and you want to start running but don’t know how, or if it’s even possible, you’re in the right place. Using proven strategies and real-life experience, certified running and life coach Jill Angie shares how you can learn to run in the body you have right now.
Hey, rebels, you are listening to episode number 42 of The Not Your Average Runner Podcast. I’m your host, Jill Angie, and today we are talking about how to deal with hecklers. So by hecklers, I mean those people, those lovely people that might yell at you out of a passing car, something like, “Run, fatty, run.” Or those friendly, helpful folks that ask you, “Hey, you’ve been running so much, how come you haven’t lost any weight?”
Today I’m also going to try out a slightly revised structure to the podcast. Now, since this is a running podcast, I thought it would be kind of fun to do it like a running workout. So there’s going to be a warm up, which will be our quote of the week and a listener highlight, then the workout itself, which is our main topic, and of course, the cool down where I talk about my latest obsession.
And from time to time, we may also have a mid-run break for a word from the episode sponsor. And this week I also have a favor to ask you. While you’re listening, if you’re enjoying what you’re hearing, I would love to have you screenshot it on Instagram and let everybody know what you love. Tag me too because I definitely give shout outs to my listeners on Instagram. And my handle there is @notyouraveragerunner, of course.
Alright, so today’s episode is sponsored by Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix is an online personal styling service that finds you clothes you love in sizes that actually fit you and I have been completely obsessed with them lately. If you want to get 25% off your entire first order, go to stitchfix.com/selflove.
This week in the warm up, we are kicking off with one of my favorite quotes of all time. And I have no idea who said it. If you do know who it is, please drop me a line and let me know. But here is it: “Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.” And I often say that 80% of training is mental, and that’s why I love this quote so much. Because we can almost always go farther and harder than we think because it’s actually our minds and our thinking that holds us back and not our bodies.
And if you allow doubt to find a spot in your brain, do you spend a lot of time questioning, can I really do this? Is this right for me? You are going to end up not giving your all. You’ll basically fail ahead of time. Doubt is a dream killer. You can rise above failure, you can learn from it, you can use it to fuel you, but doubting yourself is super poisonous. It almost always leads to quitting and you know, I don’t want that for you.
So ask yourself this: how would you show up differently for yourself if you knew that you could succeed? If you knew that for sure, you would succeed? If there was no doubt in your mind? You’d show up a lot more likely to follow your next training plan. You’d show up and push through when it gets hard, you’d do it with enthusiasm, even. So the next time you find yourself questioning whether you can actually finish that race that you signed up for, I want you to just decide ahead of time that of course you can and you will, and then just see what happens. So that’s this week’s warm up.
And if you – actually, this is part two of this week’s warm up. So if you remember Suzy Rosenstein from episode 36, she decided in July that she was finally ready to start running after lurking in the – both the Not Your Average Runner and the Run Your Best Life Facebook groups for over a year. I actually had a chance to catch up with her a few days ago and we recorded a very quick segment about her progress and here it is.
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Jill: Hey rebels, so if you remember from episode 36 a few weeks ago, I introduced you guys to Suzy Rosenstein who is just starting to become a runner at age 50 – what’s your age again?
Suzy: 55.
Jill: 55. 55, stay alive. So she’s been running for the past few weeks and I promised we would do some updates, so I actually – we just talked about a super quick update today because she’s been running and I’m hoping that she’s going to tell us all about it and I have no idea what she’s going to say so I’m going to turn it over to you, Suzy. How’s it been going for you?
Suzy: Well, it’s been going. I didn’t stick to your plan exactly but – and I have all kinds of drama that’s come up, all kinds of mind drama that’s come up, but I have gone for five or six runs and I would say that today was the best one because I did not have a lot of foot pain and I had noticeably less drama.
Jill: I love this. Okay, so can you explain what you mean by drama?
Suzy: Well, like waking up and not wanting to go, not actually writing it into my calendar, which shows a little bit of a lack of commitment, having it rain and then saying, “Oh, the forecast looks bad so this isn’t happening,” and not even thinking that maybe I should do it inside. Just like, entertaining thoughts that pop into my head instead of being fully committed. The other thing I noticed that really kind of was a big deal is this not wanting to be seen. So that affects my route, it makes me very self-conscious, I’m looking ahead to see who’s coming by or who else is walking. So like, all that crap but I – you know, I am doing it, just not as much as I thought I would be doing it by now. But I am doing it, and like I said, today I didn’t have the foot pain that’s really been plaguing me so I just felt much more positive about it.
Jill: That’s awesome. And so you’re not doing it as much as you planned to do it but you’re doing it way more than you had in the past. Because I think the first time we talked about running was September 2017?
Suzy: Yeah, so that would have been zero times between that time and in July.
Jill: Okay. So how long as it been? Three weeks or four weeks? I think it’s been three weeks.
Suzy: I think so. So yeah, exactly, like, I’d been part of your community just watching and feeling guilty that I was even there if I wasn’t running.
Jill: How dare you be in the Facebook group.
Suzy: Because I liked everybody, I thought the community was really nice and I thought maybe I’d be inspired and I could just hide and watch and barely participate. So yes, you’re right, I have made big strides, no pun intended.
Jill: See what I did there? That’s so good. So talk to me about this concept of being seen. What does being seen mean to you and why is it something that you’re concerned with?
Suzy: Well, I just would prefer if I could just go outside and do this run and not pass a single human being.
Jill: So why is that though?
Suzy: I had to really dig around to see what the problem was, and you know, it’s not that I’m not wearing makeup, it’s not that I might not look great as a runner in terms of my weight or my form. It’s really just I don’t want to look stupid. So that’s the thought is that if things – I just don’t want to look stupid. And what does stupid mean? Just like, somebody that’s not – that doesn’t really know what they’re doing.
Jill: Okay. So people are going to look at you and decide that you don’t know what you’re doing?
Suzy: Yeah, more than that. And then judge me in some way that not only do you not know what you’re doing, but you really like, who do you think you are? You look really stupid.
Jill: Oh my god.
Suzy: It’s such a weird thought and I can’t even believe I’m saying it. It’s a little embarrassing because I am a life coach. What I know is it’s so important to understand what you are thinking because then if you don’t like your reasons for thinking it, then you can do something about it. So I know by being vulnerable and putting out this weird thought right now to you and anybody who might be listening, that it’s actually a good thing because I don’t like my reasons for thinking it. It seems ridiculous, and I know that that’s the first stage in changing it.
Jill: So what – I mean, if you could just wave a magic wand and have a brain that thinks differently, what would you like to be thinking?
Suzy: Okay, let me think about that for a second.
Jill: You guys, the look on her face, if you could see it, we’re doing this over video but like, there was this look of like, what? So good.
Suzy: The first thing – I just – I don’t want people to think at all. I just want to run by and nobody would even notice because it’s not that I look…
Jill: I’m going to stop you right there. You’re worried about what other people are thinking. What do you want your brain to be thinking?
Suzy: Ah, okay good.
Jill: Because you can’t control, as you know, what anybody else thinks. They’re going to have opinions.
Suzy: Good correction. Good correction. Okay, so yeah, I guess then the thing is not to be insecure. I don’t want to feel insecure about it, so therefore I would need to think something that creates secure, something like, “I’m fine, this is perfect for me.”
Jill: Do you want to feel secure or like, how do you want to feel when you’re running? Do you really want to feel secure or do you – I know you want to feel not insecure, but what is the opposite of not insecure?
Suzy: I think it’s comfortable.
Jill: Okay.
Suzy: Which is a close relative to secure. I think it’s comfortable. But just kind of sure of myself.
Jill: Sure of yourself, I love that. So what would you need to be thinking to feel comfortable and sure of yourself?
Suzy: Something I’m not thinking now. What would that be? Well, one of my go-to thoughts that I really love is something about learning. So let’s see if that works. It worked for technology with me. So let me see if I can do that. I’m learning to become a runner. I’m learning. Learning is like a hug. When I think I’m learning I just feel so compassionate to myself.
Jill: Love that.
Suzy: Yeah, I think I’m learning. That’s my final answer.
Jill: Right, because when you’re learning, you can look stupid.
Suzy: Yes, I was focusing too much on that and I need to really just focus on what I’m doing because I know that I need – sometimes I catch myself with my mouth closed and then I’m like, am I breathing right? So I think I’d rather be thinking about my breath than I am my appearance.
Jill: Yeah, for sure. Because well, we know for sure if somebody’s like driving by, they see you for what? Two microseconds. Like, it can register, oh look, human, side of road, keep going, where’s the nearest Starbucks? At least if I’m the driving person that is going through my brain. Where’s the Starbucks? Where’s the Starbucks? So most people aren’t even going to notice that you’re there, and even if they do, and even if they think horrible things, even if they think, “My god, she looks fucking ridiculous,” it still doesn’t matter. Their thoughts can’t impact you. It’s only your thoughts. You know that. So…
Suzy: I totally know it. Yeah, you know, the more we think about it, the more – well first of all, it’s ridiculous and second of all, I really don’t like that this is occupying my energy. That this thought – it’s not doing anything for me. And it’s there. It’s definitely there every day. So I will definitely work to manage that. And yeah, I don’t like it.
Jill: Like, when you say you’re going to work to manage that, like, tell people how you’re going to do that. What are you going to – what does that mean to you? How are you going to practice thinking that new thought?
Suzy: Okay, so what I’m going to do is write down the thoughts that I know create comfortable. I said comfortable and secure. So I want to really just sit down for a couple of minutes with a cup of tea or my favorite cup of coffee and just relax and really focus on thoughts that create that feeling, thoughts that actually work to create that feeling. I’m going to have one or two, maybe three – probably just one or two of those thoughts at the ready. I’m going to practice them, I’m going to write them down, I’m going to repeat them, I’m going to make them very accessible so I can grab them and then I’m going to think it before I run and then when the weird thought pops into my mind, I’m going to just use it as a reminder to think the thought I want. But I know it’s going to take a lot of practice to have those thoughts top of mind. But I know it’s not enough to say it to you now. Then it won’t come to me when I’m running and the other thought pops in. It has to be very accessible, as if it were in a tool belt around my waist. It’s very accessible so it has to be that at the ready. Oh yeah, this is what I want to think, I’m just going to think that now.
Jill: Okay. And so I have a new tool that I’ve been teaching to my clients to help them like, install new thoughts like this.
Suzy: Help me, help me.
Jill: So I’ve been like, teaching my clients to do this thing where they do intervals with their thoughts. So when your feet are running, you are repeating that thought in your mind. And then when the running interval is done, you think whatever you want while you’re walking. And then when you start running again, you go back to thinking that new thought in your mind so that it’s literally, you’re getting muscle memory and neurological memory at the same time. And usually, the times that we are hardest on ourselves, the times that our inner mean girl is loudest during a run is on those run intervals because she’s like, “You’re too slow, this is too hard, you can’t breathe, you look stupid.” Whatever she says, it’s while you’re actually running, not so much when you’re walking. So if you literally just give her a different thought to think like, force yourself to think those new thoughts while you’re on the running interval and then you rest when you’re…
Suzy: I love it.
Jill: Like, so go ahead and try that technique. Let me know how it goes.
Suzy: I love it. I think that’s a great idea. So you’re really occupying your mind with something you want so there’s not even any room for the other thought to pop in.
Jill: Exactly, and you only have to do it for 30 seconds or however long your interval is.
Suzy: I love it. Thank you, that’s good.
Jill: Interval thinking, that’s what we’re going to call it. We should probably tell Brooke about this new idea that we’ve had.
Suzy: I think it’s a really good idea. I will do it on the next run and I will give a full report.
Jill: I love this. Okay, so you guys, I’m going to have all of the links to follow Suzy, follow Suzy’s journey, I mean, Suzy is a life coach. She’s a mid-life – like, can you tell people what you do?
Suzy: I’m a mid-life coach and so I talk to women all the time who are ready to make change but they’re frustrated because they can’t really see the way. They’ve got all kinds of thoughts too about being too old or just opportunities and doors closing rather than doors being open. So they get ideas and this might be happening – it’s happened to me with running. It’s like, well, I have this vague idea that I might want to do it but to actually make it happen is something else. So we talk about regret proofing your life and doing what you can do on purpose to make sure that you don’t have regrets at the end of the day.
Jill: So good. Okay, so you guys, I’m going to have all the links to follow Suzy, get in touch with her, learn more about what she does and we’re also using the #runsuzyrun on Facebook and Instagram. So if you’re in the Not Your Average Runner Podcast community, she does Facebook lives there. She does them in her own Facebook group as well. So – and we’ll probably – maybe you’ll come back in a few weeks and talk more about how it’s going.
Suzy: That is great, and it’s also coming up in my podcast too, Women in the Middle, because it’s just so similar. And what I was talking about today on Facebook is that it really doesn’t matter what you’re trying to do. It’s the same strategies to overcome your resistance to starting a new routine. It’s the same stuff. It doesn’t matter if it’s running or meditating or eating less or – doesn’t matter. It’s all the same stuff. So I love that…
Jill: Same old shit.
Suzy: Same old shit, exactly. This is really interesting to me because I’ve never been a runner so it really does seem like a big stretch but all my shit is coming up which is amazing because you’ve got to see what’s going on up there before you can do anything about it. So thank you, Jill.
Jill: And thank you Suzy for sharing this because I know if you’re going through it, there are thousands of other women out there doing through the exact same thing. So thanks for sharing your journey as well. Alright my friend, until next time.
Suzy: Awesome, thank you, talk to you soon.
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Oh my god, isn’t she awesome? And she just did a vision board workshop for my Run Your Best Life clients. They’re creating race and running vision boards to help them with all their distance goals. It’s just so much fun. So you definitely want to go check her out.
Now, before we dive into the main workout, here’s a quick word from our sponsor, Stitch Fix. Now, everyone likes the idea of having something new to wear. Maybe trying a new trend, but finding clothes that you love in styles that you love that also fit you and your budget can be tough. So what is the easy solution to style that fits just right? It’s Stitch Fix.
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Okay rebels, it is time for the meat of our workout. We are going to break down the fine art of handling hecklers or haters or catcallers or whatever you want to call those people that have things to say about you. Things to say usually while they’re driving by and you’re working your ass off running.
So let me ask you this: has this even happened to you? You’re out running down the street, maybe on the sidewalk, your minding your own business and suddenly you hear somebody yell out a car window something derogatory. Usually they’re laughing, almost always it’s a teenage boy and I know I’m generalizing here and I’m real sorry to the teenage boys out there that don’t do this kind of thing. I do know that you exist but frankly, when I’ve been insulted like this, it’s never been by anybody but a teenage boy.
So yeah, that’s – they’ve got kind of a bad reputation. And I know they all grow out of it, but still. Anyway, it’s always some version of, “Run, fatty, run,” or, “Run, Forrest, Run,” it’s really an insert sarcasm here, really creative stuff. And then to top it all of, so there’s that, but then there’s also people in your life sometimes that decide they need to know why you’re not thin already since you run so much. Because you know, they’re concerned about your health.
Again, dripping with sarcasm there. I mean, there’s other variations to what I like to call hecklers, but these seem to be the two that I hear about the most. So yeah, what do you do, right? Because sometimes it happens and you’re just like, stuck, like, I don’t even know how to respond I’m so shocked, I’m surprised, it was unexpected, right?
So I want to talk today a little bit about how to think in advance and how to mentally prepare yourself, and then what you can do. And we’ve talked about this before on the podcast but I want to go deeper today because it’s something that comes up over and over again and I think – I just feel like there’s probably somebody out there today that really needs to hear this, so we’re just going to go a little deeper.
So first things first, I promise that nobody, not one single person who does or says these things, who thinks in any way it’s a good idea to behave this way, none of those people are ever a runner. For real. I am pretty sure this is a scientific fact. Because runners do not act like assholes that way. I mean, I am sure there are runners out there that are assholes, I know there are, but they just don’t say derogatory things to other runners like that. They just don’t.
So I mean, why does it hurt so much when somebody who doesn’t know us, somebody who’s not a runner, a complete stranger driving by for a microsecond says something stupid, or when somebody who obviously has the sensitivity of a cricket says something stupid an uninformed to us?
I think – here’s what I think. It’s because most of us believe that when we put ourselves out there, either to run in public or to tell people that we’re running, just basically to admit that we’re doing something that we’re a little nervous about, we feel when we do that that we are trusting other people with our emotions, right? We believe that what we think and feel about ourselves is now in the hands of somebody else.
And first of all, this isn’t actually true because other people are going to have opinions, they do have opinions. We can’t really stop that. I mean, they may or may not share them but they’ll always have them. And so it’s not the opinions that hurts you, right? The only way someone else’s opinion can make you feel a certain way is if you let it. So I want you to know that. It’s a really powerful thing to understand and it puts you in the driver’s seat because you get to decide how somebody else’s words are going to make you feel.
Now, I’m not saying that it makes it okay, that it’s ever okay for somebody to yell out a car window at you. I mean, it kind of makes them pretty much of a jerk, although I would say you get off pretty easy because they’re just walking around being a jerk in their own lives and they have to – people in their lives have to deal with that. Like, they’re just somebody that yelled out of a car window at you. But it doesn’t make it okay, right?
It also doesn’t make it okay when somebody says, “Hey, how come you’re not skinny yet if you’ve been running all this time?” Right? But it doesn’t have to kill your mojo, your motivation, or make you feel bad. And I know there might be a lot of you out there who disagree with me right now and you’re like, “No, you don’t understand, sometimes people say things and I have no choice but to feel bad.” I completely disagree.
And that’s okay. We can agree to disagree. But just listen to a little bit more about what I’ve got to say before you make your mind up. So here is the bottom line: when you have worked really hard to get past your own bullshit excuses, to put on tights and maybe a tank top and go out running in public and let other people see you, are you really going to let some jackass with nothing better to do than drive around town and yell lame comments at strangers, are you going to let that person decide whether or not you get to be a runner?
Are you really going to outsource your feelings, your self-confidence, your self-image to somebody who is so completely and utterly unqualified for that job? Right? That makes no sense at all. So here’s what I want to do is I want to give you some options when that happens. So imagine you’re bopping down the street. If you’re like me, you’re probably listening to either something like Eminem, Jay-Z, Beyoncé, or Abba, guilty pleasure.
Here are your options when that happens. You’re bopping along, you’re listening to your music, listening to a podcast, somebody yells, “Run, fatty, run,” out the car. You can keep running and remember that the joke is on them because you’re actually the one out there doing something positive for yourself, improving your life, moving forward, and they’re the ones stuck in the backseat of a car yelling things for entertainment. I mean, that’s sad. Like, we can actually feel kind of sorry for those people because they’re the people who probably peaked in high school, right?
When they get to be 50, their life is not going to be so great, so you can feel sorry for them. But you can at least keep running and you’re just like, alright, you got it, you got me. Remember that the joke is on them because you’re the one who’s actually running and exercising and making yourself better. So that’s one thing, which is basically just to ignore it.
The second thing you can do is you can actually yell back. My personal favorite, especially because most of the time when people yell things out a car window, it’s not very creative, and so I just say back, “Really? Is that the best you can do?” Like, come on. You’re going to – it takes a lot to really insult me and that is not going to do it.
Or, you can also say, “Hey, why don’t you get out of the car and run the next five miles with me?” And that one is courtesy of my client, Christy, who you’re going to meet in two days on the podcast because she’s amazing and she’s got a really, really good story about a clapback that she laid out there recently. But I mean, for real, you can just yell back and you can just say – you know, you can tell them to F off, whatever you want to do. You can respond. I promise like, whatever you say back to them is not going to change their opinion, it’s not going to stop them from doing it again, so it’s a little bit wasted energy, but sometimes it makes us feel a little better to not just move on, to actually stick up for ourselves and say something back. So you can totally do that.
And your third option of course is you can just quit running and whine about how you lost your mojo because some asshole made you feel like shit. And then you feel even more like shit because you just quit on yourself. So that’s your third option. So your options are basically to ignore them, smile to yourself, say, alright, well, that’s, you know, whatever. You can yell back, or you can quit running and whine about it.
So which one do you want to choose? Do you want to be the woman who quits because somebody has an opinion? The woman who says, “I’ve lost my mojo because somebody said something mean to me,” right? Or do you want to be a rebel runner who really doesn’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks because she’s got miles to run and races to do and nobody, nobody is going to interfere with that.
So my guess is you chose A or B. But I just want you to remember if you have chosen C in the past, or if you find yourself choosing it in the future, just take a moment and just say, “Okay, stop. Is that really who I want to be? Is that really who I want to give my power to?”
Now, the other scenario that we’re talking about – so that’s all about like, some rando in a car driving by yelling at you out the car window, right? I think that’s pretty easy to deal with because they’re gone. They’ve driven on by and you’re just – you just have to manage your mind about it. The other scenario we’re talking about is somebody in your face – not in your face aggressively, but somebody like, standing close enough to you so you can have a conversation and coming right out and saying something like, “Why are you still overweight since you run so much?”
So this one takes a little bit of finesse because you can’t just drive away unless it’s somebody – I don’t know, unless you’re parked and you’re in your car and that person walks up to your car I guess you could drive away. But for real like, when somebody’s right in front of you and asking you that question, it takes a little more finesse but it does – the same principles apply.
So you can laugh at that person and say, “I know right? You’d think I’d be skinny by now. Oh well, it’s a good thing I don’t really care.” And then you can change the subject, you can walk away, you can do whatever, but like, you can just laugh. You can agree and say, “Yeah, I know, you’d think I’d be skinny right now. Oh well,” and just show them that it’s really not something that you’re willing to discuss because it’s not something that’s important, it’s not something worthy of discussion.
Now, you can also engage in conversation and you could tell them why weight loss and running are kind of at odds with each other and you could have a whole scientific discussion with them. You’re probably not going to change any opinions, maybe you will, but it seems like a lot of work to me to have a conversation with somebody about something that’s really none of their business. You can say, “Thank you for your concern about my health.” You can include sarcasm or not. You can pretend to be truly thankful and grateful for their opinion but you can say, “Thanks for your concern about my health but I can assure you I’ve got it all under control,” and then change the subject or walk away. Just make it clear, again, it’s not up for discussion.
Or you can get all indignant and pissed off and outraged. How dare they make any comment about your body. I mean, that is always an option for you. But again, just like the whining in the previous episode and feeling like, oh, they took away my mojo, getting pissed off at somebody making a comment about your body doesn’t feel great. It feels not great.
And here’s the thing: getting indignant and pissed off, like, whether you get indignant, whether you say something back to them directly or whether you walk away and then tell your best friend like, “Can you believe he said that? Can you believe she said that?” Like, first of all, you’re not going to change anybody’s opinion. Like, it’s like when you argue on Facebook. People just get more entrenched in their own side. Nobody’s opinions get changed in that moment.
And it’s a lot of wasted energy to get pissed off at somebody else’s ignorance. Like, why would you waste that? It’s like throwing money away. Don’t throw away your energy that you could be using to run on somebody else’s ignorant opinions, okay? So it really all boils down to this on both scenarios: letting someone else’s words ruin your day, take away your mojo, or your motivation or make you feel bad about running, another way to look at that scenario is if you let somebody else’s words ruin your day, you are not taking responsibility for your emotions. Full stop.
You are letting someone else decide for you how you want to feel, and that’s a little bit of tough love right there. When I say somebody did this to you and the way you feel is because you are not taking responsibility for your own emotions, I get that you might be a little pissed off at me right now, and that’s okay. I just want you to know that you are a rebel runner. You train like a badass. I want you to manage your mind like a badass too.
Take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings. That means acknowledging that other people get to have opinions and they might be different than yours. And they might even express them directly to your face, and you don’t have to react, you don’t have to get upset about it, and you for sure as fuck do not have to let it interfere with your training.
Now, if you remember what we talked about in episode 33, which is called How to Coach Yourself, your thoughts are the only thing that you really have control over in your life. Your thoughts create your feelings, and your feelings drive your actions and results. So when somebody heckles you, you get to decide how you want to think and feel about it and that’s going to determine how you act or react to that person. It’s going to determine how you show up for yourself in training, how you show up – your body image, all of that stuff. You are in charge of how you feel. Not someone else.
It’s powerful stuff, right? And it takes practice. But it is worth it. So I want you to really think about that, like, is there a time in your life where somebody has heckled you, has hated on you or something, and you let it stop you from what you were doing? Like, let’s – first of all, we’re going to have compassion for the fact that you didn’t know what to do and you reacted the only way you knew how to. But going forward, you know now that you get to decide instead of letting them decide for you.
I promise it’s worth it. It’s not easy, takes practice, but it’s a skill that is just absolutely necessary to truly becoming a rebel runner. I mean, it is a running skill. Managing your mind is a running skill. And it’s also one that we work on each week a lot in Run Your Best Life. And I know I mention this group many times but if you haven’t heard about it, if you haven’t checked it out, if you’ve been on the fence, Run Your Best Life has been life-changing for so many of my clients. It’s a coaching group that I have where we use a lot of the tools that I teach in this podcast and I teach my clients like, how to manage their mind so they never have to feel bad about something some asshole said to them.
And because they are no longer wasting their brain energy on somebody else’s opinions, they have more energy to get themselves out running, to stay motivated, to keep their self-talk really positive, which keeps them running and training and meeting their goals. So I invite you to give that a try for yourself at runyourbestlife.com. Super fun. Just do it. I don’t know what you’re waiting for. Just go do it.
Okay rebels, we are heading into the cool down section of our podcast, which means it is time for my latest obsession, and this is going to be really short and sweet. I’m going to talk to you about this new app that I tried, and it’s called ThinkUp. It’s free and it’s basically an affirmation app but with a twist. Instead of taking somebody else’s affirmations and hearing them read to you in like, a Stuart Smalley voice, you get to write your own and then read them into the app and then the app will play them back for you whenever you want.
You can even have it set up to remind you like, okay, it’s seven AM, play your affirmations. So your affirmations can be anything you need to hear, anything you want to remind yourself to hear, you can play them before you go for a run, you can play them during your run, you can set them to go on repeat for your entire run if you want to. It is seriously a very, very cool app.
I have actually recommended it to all of my clients as a way to help them uplevel their thinking and reinforce all of the beliefs that they’re trying to create for themselves. So it’s free, it’s super easy to use, and most importantly, it works. It works. So if you want to stop negative self-talk and learn new ways to motivate yourself, you have to practice. This app makes it easy so I want you to go check it out. It’s called ThinkUp and I know it’s available for Andriod and Apple. I’m not sure if there’s any other types of phones out there. But it might be available for them as well. So go check it out and of course, if you used it and you love it, I would love you to just like, let me know. You could screenshot your affirmations, post on my Instagram, tag me, just let me know how it’s going because I want to know how you’re doing.
Alright rebels, that is it for this week. Everything I mentioned in this episode can be found in the show notes at notyouraveragerunner.com/42 and I will talk to you soon.
Thanks for listening to this episode of The Not Your Average Runner Podcast. If you liked what you heard and want more, head over to www.notyouraveragerunner.com to download your free one-week jumpstart plan and get started running today.
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