Have you ever gotten that up-and-down look when you tell someone you’re a runner? That look that says ‘Really? You don’t look like one…”
Or maybe they’re brave (rude? insensitive?) enough to actually say it out loud.
It’s happened a few times to me. Actually, more than a few. Most recently, yesterday at the doctor’s office.
I had to get a test done, and the well-meaning nurse started with “Oh, you’re a big girl, I’ll get you a larger gown.”
Then a few minutes later…”You’re a big girl – do they usually use the large blood pressure cuff on you?”
Then finally, while we were waiting for the doctor, she asked me what I did for a living. And I proudly said “I’m a personal trainer and a running coach.”
Dead silence. Then I got the raised eyebrows, the up-and-down, and finally “Oh. That’s…interesting.”
I was there for a stress test, and proceeded to surprise everyone in the room when I stayed on the treadmill MUCH longer than they expected. The best part was when the nurse said “I guess you really are a runner.”
Why am I telling you this? Because this was an opportunity. Not just to educate someone else on how fitness comes in all shapes and sizes (and believe me, that nurse got SCHOOLED yesterday) – but to choose my own response to someone else’s opinion.
It would have been easy to let her words fester in my brain all day long:
How dare she call me a big girl?
Who does she think she is?
How RUDE!
All of those thoughts were available to me, which would have resulted in me feeling hurt, offended, and pissed off. My inner mean girl could have had a field day with it.
Here’s the thing. People are gonna think what they think. There’s absolutely no way to control other people’s opinions of me. Any attempt to change someone’s mind is a waste of time, effort and mental energy. So why bother?
Besides, their opinion in no way reduces my accomplishments, fitness, or opinion of myself. In fact, I love it when people underestimate me. It’s fun! It’s also taught me not to judge others by their appearance too – just because someone at the gym is thin, doesn’t mean they are super-fit, that they feel great about their body, or that they have a lot of confidence. And just because someone is overweight, doesn’t mean they are embarrassed about how they look, or that they’re out of shape.
My body, and how I feel about it, is MY business. By the same token, other people’s opinions about me are THEIR business. I like to stay out of other people’s business. And when I do, those opinions can’t hurt me.
What are your thoughts? Have you ever had someone comment on your runner’s body? How did you respond?
I really liked your share of story of how you responded to people’s reactions when you tell them you’re a runner. I guess for me, only few within my circle know that I’m a runner because I don’t really disclose them or never really got asked or thought of having to let many know that running is my lifestyle. I guess, I’ve never really had thoughts about this topic on how to address anyone when they’re reaction is unexpected. Simply put, I couldn’t care less! Not to say I don’t value their opinion but it has no bearing or alter or change my value system about who I am, is what I’m trying to say. I would listen and ask the right question as to reasons for such negative perception, then would address them to the best of my knowledge without any expectation of changing their minds. I’ve discovered there are way too many who are used to living life looking at the glass half empty and in my opinion, even if you explain away till you’re blue in the face or have a bad cramp worst than when you’re running, it wouldn’t make a difference. So, the bottom line is would you either allow your mind to be transformed by your belief system you’ve set for yourself or theirs, because everyone has belief system.s. Mine happens to be a Christian belief system where everything is measured up rather than down or parallel to others. In other words, my measure of worth is how God perceives me and whether I believe that to be true or not! Hope this helped someone out there to either at least re evaluate how they think and believe and see if it’s time to change that paradigm for a healthier one!! Take care and God bless.
WOW! Great post. Thanks for sharing your positive way to handle a sticky situation. And maybe, just maybe, you’ve opened someone else’s eyes to what “fitness” CAN look like.
Hoping the message doesn’t fall on deaf ears. Just another way of sayin’ “let’s get Moving…”
I was told the other day at my doctors office that I have a “runners heart” – I am still excited about being told that.
If you still have shortness of breath – be aware of your allergies and the seasons when they can haunt you. I though mine was just spring – but I have since learned that lots of pollens, trees and everything running in the air doesn’t like me and have to use allergy meds and inhalers all year round. I can breathe again all the time – what a feeling!
Thanks that is helpful information! I am experiencing asthma and allergies..
I just love this and thank you so much for sharing. I have had several experiences where people have commented, stared and made nasty statements about my abilities based on my size..
I was working out with a lady who said she had lost 160 lbs. When we started working out together it was not to bad, but she made rude comments here and there BUT I do not think she even realized it at times. Everything was a competition to where it stressed me out and made me feel bad about myself sometimes.. I myself lost ~90 lbs and I began to be bothered by my extra skin mostly in my stomach and inner thighs. Well little to my knowledge she herself had skin removal surgery.. That is okay but I did not agree with how she was not up front about that, she had everything nipped, lifted, new boobs and tucked. So she says to me, you will never make anymore progress and feel good about yourself if you do not get rid of that.. (My extra skin) and you really should have surgery…UGH I just thought, no way & I am going to keep at it and I am not going to have any kind of surgery. I can not handle pain I am a wimp!! I also made a decision not to run, walk, jog, do races or workout with her anymore. I made peace with all of her lil negative comments, but for a long time it really did bother me. Today she is retired and works at gym.. She is still not upfront about the surgery which can misleading to other overweight women she is suppose to be helping.. I have one more that has stuck with me–
I signed up for a 4 mile race that was going to be all trails. I did not think much about it and when I got there to get my packet, the organizer looks at me and says, you are a walker right..I said no I signed up as a runner. He says..OH..Have you done this race before I said no..He had kinda gave me a smircky and weird look on his face..I said this is my first time and I am sure it will be great.. Then I walked off and proceeded to get to ready, I reviewed the course map and honestly I was like OMG this does look hard.. I took off on my journey and I finished it. It was hard and the hills were bad but the best part, I came 2nd in my age group.. BUT to top off that guy mailed my award and it said a Walker.. really what jerk.. He said he would send the correct one but never did.. Maybe it was an honest mistake, but I will never know and needless to say I never went back to that race.
Last weekend I sat in the ER with chest pains. I told the doctor and the nurse, “I am a runner”. When I followed up with my cardiologist, I told the nurse, “I am a runner”. At 245 pounds (and a 44DDD bra) I don’t look like a runner, but I am. I’m down from 306 (and a 48DDD bra). I’m still working on getting smaller. But I am a runner–curves and all!
(By the way, the heart test all came back good!)
Question….why won’t they let us wear our Enells during treadmill tests? I would have no trouble running for them if I didn’t have my “girls” flopping around under my hospital gown!
OH MY GOSH YES! I wore my Enell Lite because I thought the Sport might not allow them to get the electrodes properly placed. Then she told me to take off my bra and I just said “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t do the test without it.” They made it work, LOL
So true! I run about 4 miles every day except Friday, when I run anywhere between 6 and 12 miles, depending on where I am in half marathon training. I had to have the stress test and could not believe they expected me to do it without restraining the girls! I got all the way to the point where the (definitely not even close to my bra size) woman doing the test said, “You can jog instead of walking fast if you want to.” I looked at her and said, “I cannot run without a bra on.” She gave me a look and said I just had to make it another 2 minutes at my speed walking pace.