Ep. #413: Confidence, But Make It Midlife

Welcome to the Not Your Average Runner podcast. I’m Jill Angie, a certified running coach, and your running BFF here to help you start running. Feel confident and love the journey no matter your size. Now, if you’ve ever felt like you just weren’t meant to be a runner, think again. I believe that running is for all bodies, even yours.

This podcast is your warmup buddy, giving you tips, motivation, and the support you need to lace up and get moving. I’ve helped thousands of women become runners, and now I wanna help you. Let’s go.

Hey friends and welcome back to the podcast. Today we are gonna talk about something. Every single midlife woman I know has wrestled with. And that is confidence. And I don’t know, maybe you used to feel confident in your twenties or your thirties ’cause you knew who you were or you didn’t know who you were, but you were too clueless at that age to care.

Um, but you felt in control and you weren’t afraid to go after what you wanted. But now here you are in your forties or fifties or sixties and you’re thinking, what the fuck? Where did that confidence go? So between menopause body changes, kids leaving or coming back, uh, shifts in your career, parents who maybe suddenly need you more than ever.

It is really easy to feel overwhelmed and to realize that your confidence kind of slipped out the back door when you weren’t looking. That’s why today we are gonna do a midlife confidence reset, and I have four powerful ways to help you reclaim your confidence and not the 20 something version, but the badass midlife version of confidence that fits who you are now.

All right, let’s dive in. So number one, we gotta start by redefining what confidence even looks like now, because in your twenties, again, it might have been about being the youngest in the room or having endless energy or fitting into a smaller size, right? In your thirties, it might have been about juggling your career and your family like a pro.

But in midlife it looks different and. I know this is gonna sound weird, but menopause can actually be your secret weapon right now. And yes, the hot flashes, the joint aches, the random memory gaps, it’s real. But the reason behind them is your lower levels of estrogen and the benefit from that means you get less of that.

People pleasing drive. That keeps us trying to be everything to everyone because biologically in menopause, our brains start to shift and we stop giving so many fucks about approval and we start asking. What do I actually want? Right? And a lot of that is because of your changes in estrogen level. So menopause secret weapon here when it comes to confidence.

Now the shift can feel a little disorienting at first, but it is your superpower, I promise. It is nature’s way of giving you permission to stop apologizing and start prioritizing yourself. So instead of grieving who you used to be, I want you to think of this season of life as an upgrade, okay? It is a more direct, more unapologetic, more grounded version of you.

And it’s badass. So your takeaway for step number one is to stop measuring your confidence by outdated standards. So the question is not, do I still look like I did at 25? Because guess what? You don’t, not even close, like let’s just be honest, but who cares? When you are judging your life on whether you look younger than your age, that’s like reviewing a movie by the quality of the popcorn and not the plot.

The question you wanna be asking is, am I showing up as my true self? And when you can say, hell, yes, I am. That is confidence. Now second step is to start collecting proof from your past. All right? Proof that you’re already an absolute rockstar because in midlife you’ve got receipts, my friend. You have survived heartbreak, you have raised kids, you have maybe navigated divorce, you have lost loved ones.

Maybe you even started a new career from scratch. There are, there’s no end to the amount of stuff that you have. Survived and thrived and lived through. You have already proven that you are resilient. You have proven you can survive hard things and keep going. So here’s a little exercise for you. I want you to grab a notebook when you’re done with your walk or your run.

Um, grab a notebook and write down 10 times in your life when you did something that scared you or you pushed through something difficult or you accomplished something big. Those moments are your receipts. That’s your proof that you can do hard things. And when your confidence wobbles, because it will ’cause you’re human, you can go back to that list and remind yourself, oh, that’s right.

I’ve done it before and I can do it again Now. Number three is to practice tiny acts of bold. Because confidence is a muscle and you build it by using it. So the mistake that we make is thinking I’m going to wait until I feel confident, and then I will speak up in that meeting, or I will wear the bright lipstick, or I’ll sign up for the painting class.

Right? But confidence doesn’t show up first. It comes after you take the action. So think of it like training for a marathon, for example, right? You do not go from zero to marathon overnight. You start with a mile, and then two, and then three. And the same goes for confidence, right? So we’re gonna start out with some tiny acts of boldness to work up to the bigger ones.

Here are some examples. You can just say no to somebody without giving an explanation. Just no, no is a full sentence, no period. Uh, you can wear the outfit that you love, but you think is too much. Just fucking wear it. Enjoy it. Have fun with it. You can introduce yourself to somebody new. Instead of waiting for somebody to introduce you, just walk up to a person that you think is interesting and be like, Hey, I’m so and so.

It’s nice to meet you. You can ask for what you need instead of waiting for somebody to read your mind, because nobody is going to read your mind. This is how we end up not getting what we want by waiting for somebody else to figure out that we need it. Just ask. Just ask. Tiny little act boldness. Ask for what you want.

What’s the worst that can happen? They say no, and then you’re right back in the same situation. You’re no worse off. And finally just try a new workout or a new hobby or a new restaurant, or even if you feel awkward, even if you’re like, I suck at this. Give it a try anyway. Because again, you don’t get better at something without starting out with a small, tiny act.

So your tiny act of boldness can be to just take the first step into that new hobby or that new workout or whatever it is, even when you feel awkward. Okay? Feeling awkward is not a reason not to do something. Just tattoo that on your brain feeling awkward is never a reason not to do something. Now, every time you take one of these little risks, one of these tiny acts of boldness, you are building your confidence muscle.

You are teaching yourself. I can do bold things and nothing bad happens when I do, and that’s a powerful belief. Now, finally, you’re gonna borrow belief until it becomes yours because again. You’re not gonna run a marathon on day one, right? So sometimes you don’t feel confident yet, you’re still working on it.

That’s okay, because in those moments, you can borrow belief from the people around you. So when you surround yourself with people who see your strength. Even when you don’t, it is so much easier to take the leap. Confidence is contagious. When you hang out with people who are unapologetically themselves, you start to believe that you can do the same.

So find a community, a coach, a group of friends who are gonna hype you up until you start to see what they see. So let’s recap four ways to reset your confidence in midlife. Number one, redefine what confidence looks like now and use menopause as your secret superpower for that. Number two, collect proof from your past because girl, you’ve got receipts, you’ve got ’em.

Number three, practice those tiny acts of boldness. Let ’em get bigger and bigger over time. Dip your toe in the water and see how fun and easy it is. And then finally, borrow belief from other people. Until it becomes your own. All right, so remember, confidence in midlife does not come from looking a certain way or having a certain amount of money or meeting somebody else’s standard.

It comes from owning your story, trusting your resilience, and daring to take up space. Now, of course, if you want a little help building that confidence back, especially when it comes to your movement patterns, I have got you. My program, the Midlife Movement Makeover, is a 30 day reset that is designed for women who are sick of starting over instead.

You will get short, simple workouts and daily sparks to keep you motivated for 30 days. You get a playbook for creating habits that actually stick. This program is not about shrinking your body, it is about expanding your confidence, and you can grab your copy for just $29. I will drop the link in the show notes, or you can head over to not your average runner.com/midlife.

That’s not your average runner.com/midlife. That is it for today, my friend. Go out there and practice your one tiny act of boldness this week, today if you can, and watch how your confidence starts to grow, and I’ll see you next week.

MWAH.

Real quick before you go, I’ve got a fun challenge for you. Take my exerciser personality quiz to find out exactly what kind of exerciser you are and how to make running feel easier and more enjoyable.

Just head over to not your average runner.com/quiz to take it and get your results. That’s not your average runner.com/quiz.