A few months ago, I went to a luxury spa for a massage, and they handed me a robe that did not fit. I nervously asked for a larger robe and was told it was more of a “one-size-fits-all” situation (one size fits some). I had a bunch of thoughts and feelings, I complained, they apologized and invited me back for a free massage, saying they would order more robes. But when I returned, the same thing happened again.
This experience got me thinking about how conditioned we are to blame ourselves when something like this happens, feeling deep shame and embarrassment that we don’t fit someone else’s expectations. It happens on airplanes with seatbelts, and it happens at races with race shirts that only come in S, M, and L.
So, what’s stopping you from asking for what you want or need when you’re fat without feeling embarrassed, ashamed, or any other crappy emotion? Tune in this week to discover how you’ve been socialized by a patriarchal society with an embedded anti-fat bias, and how to break the cycle, speak up, and ask for what you want even though the answer might be a no.
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What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
- Why we need to normalize the word fat and normalize the idea of fat people asking for what they want.
- Some of the thoughts that people commonly bump up against when they need to ask for what they want or need.
- What anti-fat bias is and why getting clear on this belief system is so important.
- Why keeping quiet in situations where you need to make specific requests only reinforces the idea that we should keep quiet.
- My 3-step process for feeling more comfortable asking for what you want or need, no matter the circumstances around your request.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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Full Episode Transcript:
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